haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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