i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize