i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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