At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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