I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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