Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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