I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
