when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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