I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
