last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
