my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize