You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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