What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
