just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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