i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
