Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I could fuck to npr.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
