Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
