I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize