youre lurking in front of me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
