Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
