I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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