btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
