Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
