He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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