at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
