How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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