No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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