Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
