I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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