At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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