I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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