Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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