Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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