me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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