Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize