Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
