oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
