i just had sex bonerless
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
