I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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