He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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