someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
