First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am one with the molecules
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
