i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
