Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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