Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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