Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
