Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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