it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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