We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
