Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize