We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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