I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
