So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
bring money and cleavage
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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