I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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