The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize