i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just had sex on a roof
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
