dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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