I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have aggressive nipples.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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