It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am naked and annoyed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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