Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
